These are the most extreme examples, but there are other equally perplexing shuttles. For instance you can hop on a number of buses in Greektown, from either a bar or hotel, and be driven the four blocks to Commercialca Park, or whatever it's called. This of course would relieve the individual from navigating the always treacherous Harmonie Park, what with its, er, flowers?
This is not to disparage any bar, restaurant, or hotel in Detroit from doing whatever they feel it takes to survive; and certainly there are places running shuttles which are not within walking distance, assuming a mile is no longer a walkable distance, but rather to question what compels an able-bodied person to ride an old school bus a shorter distance than they probably walked to elementary school. It reinforces every negative stereotype the world has about Americans—lazy, wasteful, entitled, environmentally callous, obese—just to name a few. Most likely, however, the real reason is probably drunkenness.
It's not uncommon to see a completely healthy 25 year-old man stumble off one of these buses, wearing a shirt proclaiming, in the curious modern day fashion of always dressing in a shirt indicating where you are or what you are doing, his Detroitness, and therefore his badassness, oblivious to the fact that his toughness is completely negated by his over-sized golf shorts and flip-flops, the latter of which were presumably purchased while wearing a shirt reading "shoe store." Certainly the ride from the ballpark back to the bar is not enough to sober him up before getting in his car and heading home, which seems to be his destiny. Unless of course there is a system I'm unaware of involving a series of 172 shuttles, each taking him 500 feet, the last of which drive him from the corner of his cul-de-sac, past four neighbor's houses and safely to the end of his driveway at which point he'll have to call a cab in order to reach his front porch.
If you happen to be one of the shuttled you should understand what it's like for those of us who live here and walk to places. When we see a bus packed with adults it's akin to seeing a bus packed with prisoners on their way to break rocks with sledgehammers. We feel sorry for you, we are free, and you...oh never mind, you'll be off that bus after one more block.
I had a poignant remark, but while waiting for the bus to my computer I forgot it.
ReplyDeleteyou have a strange reflex to throw America under the bus because of something someone does that runs contrary to your dogma. guess what. bars compete for customers. if their shuttle is there, it saves the patrons from walking around your workers paradise of crime and blight looking for the place. just that little bit of anticipating a need and taking care of it brings them loyal fans. have you considered a tax break as an incentive for bars to change to electric buses? no, you just look down your anti American, anti business nose while you cut Detroit's throat. Do you own a bar that employs Detroiters? Maybe if you did, you would know what it takes to compete against bars in Dearborn and Grosse Pointe. Maybe something as simple as a warm bus past the uncertainty your one party system has created.
ReplyDeleteSad to learn that some people lack comprehension skills.
ReplyDeleteI agree about if it's within a mile, come on people, get out and hoof it. My favorite experience with the shuttle lovers had to be when I was at Park Bar before a game and some non-familiar with Detroit game-goers asked if there was a shuttle to Commerialca. I didn't let the bartender answer, I was like, "I've got this one." "It's 2 blocks away." They continued, "so is there a shuttle?" "NO!?!?"
what the world, some people.
with that, stop throwing America, Michigan, Detroit and the citizens of all three under the bus One More Spoke. Shame on you. hahaha, I'm still laughing over that one.
HATR.
First, I would like to call attention to Downtown Detroit having a lower crime rate than many suburbs (Hazeltucky, Hellvindale, etc.). There really isn't anything to be afraid of with the blight downtown except the occasional piece of falling debris.
ReplyDeleteSecond, although the bus for two blocks of blight is stupid, please don't stop doing it. I need a complete evening of entertainment. I wouldn't have anything to laugh at Yuppie suburbanites for as I walk to the game.
Third, the walk from Cobo Joes to Joe Louis Arena is awesome. There's the underground Cobo parking garage where you finally figure out exactly how large that place is. Then the spiraly walkway thing. Then, you have to dodge the cars racing under Cobo exit the Lodge onto West Jefferson ala frogger. And just think, the evening's fun is only beginning. Little Caesars, anyone?
Fourth, this is my favorite post so far. First class social observation.
If suburbanites can find a bar in close proximity to a stadium, why the fuck can't they find the stadium from the bar? Drunkenness, you say! I thought intoxication was supposed to increase confidence and bravery, not reduce you to cattle-like senior citizen status or, as Spoke put it, a member of a chain gang.
ReplyDeleteSuburbanites, lift up your weary head! Restore! Rebuild! Reconsider! Walk! Tiger game! Tiger game!
My pet peeve is related: grocery stores erect little corrals for shopping carts so that the carts don't fly around. Yet, the majority of carts are always left blocking parking spaces within close proximity to the corrals. Lazy asses! They would rather let their carts blow into someone's car and dent it (happened to me) than walk 12 extra feet. Incredible.
ReplyDelete